You’ve reached your goal- now prepare for the anxiety

After years of writing and working to land an agent and a publisher I got my first publishing deal. I yelled, I danced, I woke up each morning with a goofy grin on my face. And then something stupid happened. After the excitement wore off and the gelato ran out, doubts and anxiety snuck in. 

Yes, I was living my writing dream, but what if no one bought my book? What if my cover wasn’t as beautiful as other book covers? Why did I have only 13 followers on Instagram? 

In an embarrassingly short amount of time I went from spontaneously  bursting into song like a middle-aged Disney princess, to waking in the night stressed and anxious. Some of those nights I felt like a fraud, sure that as soon as people read my book they’d know I didn’t really deserve a book deal. Other nights I swung the opposite direction, jealous and resentful of authors whose books were creating buzz when they probably weren’t even as good as mine.

I don’t love sharing these things with you. It’s not a side of myself I’m proud of. But it’s important to understand that there’s more than blissful satisfaction waiting on the other side of that finish line. There’s a whole hodge podge of emotions that come with living your dream. 

Maybe you finally opened your restaurant and it’s a million times harder than you imagined. Maybe you came in first at your ballroom dance competition, but you’re wondering why another dancer got invited to the Fancy Ballroom Extravaganza and you didn’t. Maybe you reached your goal and realized you have a long way to go to get to where you really want to be. 

If you’re feeling this way, it’s okay. Give yourself time and space to feel all the things and sort through those emotions. Talking to someone about it helps. And if you don’t have someone like that in your life right now, hit reply and tell me everything.